Bauklötze
by hyperphonic
Summary: Lan Fan thinks it's appropriate that the sun has dipped behind the wreckage of the wall, because certainly this is the beginning of a very long night. snk!au/vignettes/multichaptered
1. Chapter 1

**well: **today nothalfsocurious and i had a breakdown over an snk!lingfan au, and i juST COULDN'T CONTAIN MY EMOTIONS, OK?

**yeah son: **this is only the beginning (but i bet you knew that).

* * *

I.

Lan Fan is no stranger to grief- since the day she lost her parents the dark girl has felt it snapping at her heels, like hunting hounds before the walls. Greif, she has learned, is the chill in her stomach and the ache at the base of her spine. It is omnipresent and inescapable- a fact of her life like the warm of the sun.

When Ling takes her hand and leads her away from the wet-wood smell and blood of her home, Lan Fan finds herself trembling. The rain has abated, but still her clothes cling, and the warmth of the black coat he'd lent can only do so much against soaked skin.

"Let's go to our home," he murmurs, and numbly, her fingers clench against his own.

The next morning rises, fresh and mist rimmed, all softly singing birds and the golden-warm sun creeping across sheets. Lan Fan wakes up _warm, _curled tight against Ling's chest and steeped through in Shiganshina warmth.

It's the beginning of: them, the biggest adventure of her life (though she doesn't yet know that) and the end.

Always the end.

* * *

II.

When the wall falls the sun has already begun to kiss the horizon and, as a result, the buildings are stained so red that Lan Fan doesn't know the blood until she's touching it. But it's there- coagulating in the cracks between cobblestones and beginning to over saturate the old wood facing of the houses.

She can feel it slipping against the leather soles of her boots, and the sticky slide of her hand in Ling's. His eyes are tight, hard and dark and fixated on the corner ahead, the last before-

Home.

Another home, lost to this world of hard lines and gaping maws. "_No,_" Ling cries, and then he is gone, letting her hand fall in favor of tearing down the street towards the rubble of their house. Lan Fan tries to scream, tries to warm him of the titan approaching, but he sees it first, and the dark girl is endlessly glad she can only see the jerk of his shoulders.

* * *

II.5

In the end, there is silence. The boat is full up of refugees and rocking with the attempts of panicked citizens to jump aboard. Lan Fan's shoulder blades press uncomfortably into the wood, but (like the rest of the ambience) that fact is eclipsed by the hard clench of Ling's hand against her own.

Bright tears streak down his face, and the dark dark boy looks so entirely lost that Lan Fan thinks even she didn't look so bad when..

"I'll kill them all," he growls as the boat begins to move. "I won't stop until they're all dead." Lan Fan thinks it's appropriate that the sun has dipped behind the wreckage of the wall, because certainly this is the beginning of a very long night.

One trembling hand reaches out to rub a smear of blood from his cheek, and Lan Fan's voice shakes as she breathes, "Ling."

(She knows though, that she must follow.)

* * *

III.

Life after the fall is even worse than Lan Fan had imagined it to be. The nights are cold, the rations meager and the light in Ling's eyes nonexistent. It's not until enlistment that things begin to change for the better.

With their entrance into the military comes many benefits, warmer (although extremely crowded) housing, slightly more food, and comrades. Lan Fan, for what it's worth, doesn't particularly feel the need to let others into her life. But Ling thrives on the sudden social structure, and by proxy, Lan Fan does too.

There's an alarming number of faces to learn, but slowly Lan Fan begins to feel a weight ease from her chest that she hadn't even known was there at all. In Ling's wing of the barracks, there's a pair of brothers, both orphans, by the name of Elric. The eldest is a petite boy of alarming ferocity, all golden eyes and hard lines. His brother is soft smiles and olive eyes, already taller than Edward, and the most eloquent male Lan Fan thinks she's ever met. Ling bonds almost instantly with the fierce boy and soon Lan Fan finds herself as comfortable around the pair as anyone else.

In addition to the Elrics, there's a handful of rowdy boys who call themselves the beasts of Ragako, an intelligent almost-man named Fuhrey and an assortment of other names that Lan Fan doesn't bother to learn.

In her own barrack, there's a hyper intelligent blonde by the name of Winry (she thinks that the girl hails from the same southern village as the Elrics), an overbearing waif of a girl named Mei, who's propensity for medicine is outweighed only by the loudness of her voice and an equally energetic girl called Paninya of whom the dark girl knows next to nothing (she keeps her secrets even closer than Lan Fan).

Lan Fan isn't sure what the feeling that thrums in her chest is, but a small part of her thinks it might be camaraderie. The light in Ling's eyes affirm the suspicion, and as they train towards graduation and the Legion (Ling says it's the best faction in which to extract his revenge), Lan Fan is just glad that he smiles again.


	2. Chapter 2

IV.

In the fall of their second year Ling finds a way to climb onto the barrack's roof. The late September air is crisp and cool on her face as Lan Fan warily follows him up, legs sore from the morning's run and arms exhausted from the afternoon's 3DMG drills. "C'mon Lan Fan," the dark boy calls from his perch atop the roof, "you're gonna miss it if you don't hurry."

Whatever this 'it' is, it had better be good for her to skip out on dinner, Lan Fan thinks as she pushes her spent muscles and swings up onto the shingles. Though it takes a second for her tired mind to process, the view she is greeted with sends the air rushing from her lungs and wipes any thoughts of the overcrowded mess hall from her mind.

"_Exactly_," Ling reverently agrees with the awestruck breath she releases, and Lan Fan can only gape at the colors that spill over the wall. Though the buildings are squat and sprawling, it doesn't take much to block their view of the sky this close to the wall, and certainly Lan Fan hasn't seen a display of color this magnificent since before their enlistment.

The soldier girl doesn't even notice the small parcel at her (_maybe-more-than-a) _friend's feet until he's unwrapping it. His grin is infectious as one calloused hands extends towards her, fingers beckoning. "Paninya filched it for me," he murmurs when she pulls up beside him, hyperaware of how their shoulders brush, and the tickle of his bangs against her cheek in the breeze.

Sunsets are well and good, Lan Fan thinks as she and Ling sit together on the roof, but nothing could possibly compare to filched meat and Ling by her side.

* * *

V.

The night before their graduation, Ling sneaks into her bunk. It is well past midnight, and were Lan Fan anyone else (her bunkmates included) she'd already be long asleep. But she is Lan Fan, and fear weighs on her back so heavy her pushups only seem to get harder as the night goes on. "Lan Fan," he whispers from outside the window, "let me in."

And she does, glad to have his warmth beside her and his light against the walls of her room. "I figured you'd be awake," the dark boy muses as he flops onto her cot, loose shirt gaping enough for Lan Fan to catch a sheen of sweat across his chest (he'd been having as much luck with sleep as she). "Ed and Al are off to see Winry and my bunk is too quiet."

Lan Fan nods, hair sticking to her face as she finishes her interrupted set of pushups, the simple movement far easier with Ling in the room. For someone who left his bunk complaining of quiet, Ling is happy to let their room fall into a warm silence, broken only by soft breathing and the rustle of fabric as Lan Fan pulls a dry shirt on over her head. "You don't need to join the Legion," he murmurs to the ceiling a few minutes after her head hits the pillow beside his, "we both know you'll rank high enough to join the Military Pol-"

"No," Lan Fan staunchly replies with a turn of her head, dark eyes studying his face intensely. Ling brings his chin down to meet her stare, eyebrows knitting together as he heaves a sigh. "Good."

(He hadn't wanted them to part anyways.)

* * *

VI.

Trost is not so different from Shiganshina, Lan Fan decides as she stands atop one shoddily shingled roof. With all it's red clay roofs and whitewashed walls, the town reminds the dark girl almost painfully of her second home. Lan Fan spends the better half of her morning duties lost in memories of Shiganshina warmth and the easy laughter of childhood (somehow, even though she'd lost so much, the recollections still glow with Ling's bright eyes and his mother's laugh). But even in the strong, late morning sun her thoughts can't help but wander to the fall. As if on cue, a dove bursts from the eaves of an adjacent house, startled by the heavy steps of her squad mate, and for a second the sun seems red.

Military issued boots scuff against the clay shingles as Lan Fan makes a quick quarter turn, sharp eyes searching the distant Wall for Ling's maintenance squad. It is morning and it is spring, there is no bile on the wind nor no geese in the air. They are freshly graduated from their training and far from the helpless children they'd been.

Trost is not Shiganshina, she tells herself, there will be no bloodshed here.


	3. Chapter 3

VII.

She is wrong.

This time the light is golden bright and strong as the heart in her chest, falling ardently on the massive hand that swings across the top of the wall- obliterating cannons and hopes and sending soldiers flying like ants. It is not lost on her that the Colossal Titan attacked right where Ling's squad is stationed. But it is a fact overshadowed by the adrenaline in her veins as Titans begin to filter into the city. There is no time to worry, he _must _be alright.

(Her heart feels like it's going to tear itself apart the whole way to Headquarters, caught up in _what if's_ and the terror of being alone again.)

* * *

VIII.

After entering the impromptu Headquarters, it takes Lan Fan all of three minutes to locate Ling's mop of dark hair, and three more to shoulder her way through the crowd to his side. "Lan Fan," he rushes, keen eyes wide as one calloused palm curls around her forearm to pull her into his side. "Shit, I was so worried." And the young woman is just glad she didn't have to say it herself (_he knows_).

Lan Fan is sure that the blustery officer at the head of the room is saying something very important indeed, but the low rumble of Ling's voice as he covertly tells her of his attack on the Colossal is far more enthralling. "It vanished though." He concludes, breath warm against her ear, "just like five years ago.." She can feel the taught draw of his shoulders even behind her, and one cool palm slinks back to draw across his knuckles. "There will be other chances." The dark girl affirms, glad for the press of soldiers around them (no one will notice their exchanging of words).

Behind her, Ling nods, and as the officer begins to detail the mission and their assignments, Lan Fan doesn't fail to notice the way he draws closer still.

* * *

IX.

At the end of it all, they are assigned to different squads, and in the rush to gear up and get to stations, Lan Fan is separated from her almost-more-than-a-friend. Her heart clenches at the thought of him out on the frontlines, but he's strong, and the plan is sound. Edward Elric is the first familiar face she finds upon entering the courtyard, and his golden eyes are tight as they exchange nods. "Winry is on your team." He states, voice rough around the edges. "Watch out for her, please."

Lan Fan feels her heart catch in her throat and can only nod.

It's not long afterwards that Ling pulls her aside, brushing his fingertips over her cheekbones and under her drawn eyes. "Don't die," he begs, breath ghosting across her chin and sending her skin tingling. "You too," Lan Fan replies, and then he is pressing a chaste kiss against her lips, all shaking hands and the sound of other soldiers rushing past. The kiss breaks slowly, and before they've pulled away even enough for Lan Fan to focus on his eyes, Ling murmurs his reply against her lips.

"I'll do my best,"


	4. Chapter 4

X.

Trost, Lan Fan realizes, is nothing like Shiganshina. The first town to fall was an exercise in helplessness, like a dream where you can't seem to run from the threat. Shiganshina is the inability to fight back, and mother's blood on the cobblestones. This is entirely different, Lan Fan's team is strong, and when the dark girl takes to the air, she can feel three year of training in the smooth flex of her muscles and the swing of her Maneuver gear.

This, gruesome as it may be, is what she's been training for.

And it shows on all fronts. Ed's worry over Winry seems totally unbased as the blonde arcs through the air to spin down on a Titan's neck. Lan Fan has taken down more of the behemoths, but the Rockbell girl is a very close second indeed.

"Lan Fan," she calls, alighting on a roof adjacent to the dark soldier's flight path. "Come here!"

They've lost none on their team, but as Lan Fan watches her group reassemble, she wonders just how long that will last.

* * *

XI.

For his part, Ling thinks he's kicking rather a lot of ass. Since the deployment of his squad, he's already taken down a target, and lost none of his squad. Beside him, Alphonse Elric runs a sweaty hand through his hair and stares out over the city. "We're going to have to push forwards." He muses, eyes tight. They are on the outskirts of the city, and to make a difference they'll have to advance into the more infested areas. "Yeah," Ling nods, and a glance back proves his squad all assembled.

"How about this?" He grins, "let's see who can take the most Titans down?" Al's eyes light up, and the rest of their squad mates give a cheer.

* * *

XII.

They meet what remains of Edward's team about an hour later. The blonde almost-man is covered in blood that isn't his own and his palms shake when Winry runs her knuckles over his spine. "There was an aberrant." He offers, and silence falls over the amassed soldiers.

"We need to get to Headquarters," Lan Fan whispers.

And that is when they hear the roar.

* * *

XIII.

It is Al who finds them first, halfway to HQ and covered in blood that isn't evaporating. His maneuver gear hisses at the tightness of his turn, engine straining as the agile boy lands atop a chimney. "Brother, Winry" he calls, nodding with dark eyes towards the elder Elric and the blonde he stands beside. Olive eyes turn towards Lan Fan, and it is with a hollow stomach that she remembers he was on the same team as-

"Ling is dead."

The dark soldier falls to her knees, and it is Winry who first rushes over to her, calloused palms rubbing over shaking shoulders. Head bowed, Lan Fan misses the easy grace with which Ed lopes over to his brother, or the way both blonds' eyes turn to Winry's blue gaze.

Brokenly, "we need to get to Headquarters." And Lan Fan rises to her feet, war drums building to a crescendo in her veins.


End file.
